Sunday, January 8, 2012

Seeing God

We gather in a circle of folding chairs in the church fellowship hall. The title of today's seminar is "How Do You See God?" Our moderator asks the twenty or so participants to spend about ten minutes writing our own description of God. After the time limit is up, he asks us to share what we've written with the group. I share that I have often felt as though I cannot see God and I feel alone in the universe. I wonder if I somehow landed on the wrong planet, and I don't understand why I can't find my way home. I confess that when people ask me where I'm from, I tell them I'm from Pleiadies. If someone asks me where it's located, I jokingly reply that it's about an hour west of Louisville. This breaks the ice and soothes my discomfort about feeling alienated from the world.

I explain that I see God most clearly as the Goddess, like Quan Yin in the Buddhist tradition. This Goddess is known as "she who hears the cries of the world". I love the feminine, nurturing aspect of the divine. It comforts me. I grew up in a family with an overabundance of yang energy, and the Goddess creates balance for me when my world feels out of kilter. She is compassionate and kind. In my nursing career, I have sometimes experienced a side of the feminine personality that is not so nice. Nurses can be mean-spirited, petty, and unsupportive towards one another. This makes me sad. It is wonderful when I find a kindred spirit at work with whom I can share my joys and sorrows. The Goddess is always there, like lyrics from a Sinead O'Connor song, to mother me and see me through. This is an important aspect of my spirituality.

At the close of the seminar, I share that I've been touched by the wide spectrum of participants' feelings about the concept of God, ranging from sadness, fear, doubt, longing, anger, joy, comfort, and love. I point out that God is important to all of us, even if we experience God as being absent. I tell the group that I believe we are all a part of God. Another woman says she wishes this group could meet every week. A man says he appreciated the joy of not hearing intellectual bullshit in the group. Our discussion has been sincere and heartfelt. We leave feeling a little closer to one another.

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